got a three dollar tip today #rollinginit
The train driver just told everyone to get off and we’re waiting in the rain and I’m late, damn
“Crocs” by Pitbull feat. Nickelback
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brought to you by Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard
did you guys find it with bing
no it was on myspace
read full review by tyler oakley now
REBLOG IF YOU HAVE A HEART
It was the fall of a great syphilisation
every time i think of something totally weird that i’d never do i think to myself “someone in the world has done that”
Haha I do this all the time
[step 1] open your mouth as wide as possible. make sure to stick out your tongue as far as you can, too, since kisses are like, 90% that thing
[step 2] find someone to kiss. you will know they want to kiss because their tongue will also be extended at full length
[step 3] move in for the kill
- Suzanne Collins: "Finnick and Annie returned to district 4 and had a child togeth-"
- JK Rowling: No no no! What are you doing, you can't let that character live. You have to be ruthless. You have to rip out the reader's heart.
- Suzanne Collins: But he really doesn't need to die
- JK Rowling: DO YOU WANT A BEST SELLER?!
- Suzanne Collins: Yes bu-
- JK Rowling: THEN KILL HIM
- Stephenie Meyer: Hey Jo maybe you could help me with breaking daw-
- JK Rowling: Be quiet Stephenie
And all night.
- Plot twist: extremely calm at the disco
I was so confused when I read this, who are you?! Thanks so much though!
All I did today was watch a whole season of Game of Thrones, fix the power antenna on my car and eat oats and gnocchi and drink tea. Holidays go alright.
n. the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like—as if all your social tastebuds suddenly went numb, leaving you unable to distinguish cheap politeness from the taste of genuine affection, unable to recognize its subtle and ambiguous flavors, its long and delicate maturation, or the simple fact that each tasting is double-blind.
AND NOW I REACT:
BUT REALLY ON THE INSIDE:
Outfit-repeating for the third time this week hoping I don’t run into the same people.
So a 12.9 year old girl wearing crocs and a nickleback crop top walks into a starbucks. She opens up internet explorer to go onto facebook. “Follow me on tumblr :D” she posts. She signs into tumblr. “My autoplay is perfect” she says. She hums the tune to Afro Circus as she reblogs a picture of the sky with the caption “and in that moment I swear we were infinite” in comic sans font.
If you look in the mirror and say “vagina” three times, Michigan House Representative Mike Callton will appear and tell you not to be offensive.
Not that I shop at Gorman but this is too funny hahaha
girls are not made of sugar spice and everything nice girls are made of carbon atoms and lies
I was just on the phone with a German girl ja ist gut ja genau
- mother: you need to stop playing the sims.
- me: ah fweegah fwaa boobasnot cayoo dis wompf es fredesche
I’d love to say that I should get my ego in check but oh wait no I wouldn’t I’m fucking awesome