With your hands between your thighs, and a smile

fake-mermaid:

the first time i saw this i actually laughed for an hour

(Source: fake-mermaid)

Reblogged 22 hours ago from black-hell (Originally from fake-mermaid) 35,048 notes

itsvondell:

i have a basket with 10 apples in it and a basket with 20 apples in it and i want to make the baskets equal

so i figured i have 10 more apples, ill put 10 more apples into the first basket and no more into the second basket

but its weird because when i reach over to put the 10 apples in the first basket the second basket starts crying and says “why don’t i get 10 apples too”

(the baskets have little faces and can talk to me)

i try explaining to basket #2 that it already has 20 apples in it and i want to make them equal

“if you want to make us equal then give me 10 apples too! i want it to be equal too. 10 apples for both baskets. that’s equal. don’t you know what equal means?” the second basket says

i try explaining to basket #2 that he has an incorrect understanding of the situation but it insists that if i don’t give 10 apples to both baskets, i’m showing disproportional preference for basket #1.

i try to just put the apples in basket #1 and bypass basket #2’s opinions and be done with it but this time when i reach over, basket #2 throws itself at basket #1 in frustration and knocks the 10 apples out of my hand onto the floor and knocks a bunch more apples out of basket #1 in the process

basket #1 has a hard time picking the apples back up off the floor because every time basket #1 picks one more apple up basket #2 yells and cries and says “look! look! basket #1 got another apple! look! someone give me another apple too! it’s only fair!”

i say, “basket #2, youre a terrible basket and i hate you” but it wont stop and it wont be quiet. this has been a story about my talking baskets.

Reblogged 4 days ago from johannesvandergraaff (Originally from itsvondell) 6,762 notes